Working hard at looking hardworking

Not Dead.

2008-03-13T08:39:00.001-07:00

"You didn't go and collect your results today?"

"Well I'm here, aren't I? I honestly have better things to do!"

"I love the way you think, Marvin."

-Daphne and I (more or less), before the orchestration of the "Let's Improv!" workshop

Look, if I wanted to abandon you, dear readers, I'd _say_ so, okay? :D

Thanks for staying tuned. A reward:

That is Mia Palencia. We meet an eon ago, when she was still in Double Take and playing mostly jazz music. Comparative to the stuff she's doing now? Infinitely preferable. Where was I? Ah yes, meeting. My brother and I met her at, funnily enough, a public speaking competition. Then radio silence for, oh, 3 years? When I meet her again, she's turned into a full blown artiste, with her own album and all that jazz. (Oh a pun! Well played!)

So I got my results (YES! MY SPM RESULTS! THIS IS THE END PRODUCT OF 13 FUCKIN' YEARS! I CAN NOW TELL PEOPLE I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE SUFFOCATING DIGESTIVE SYSTEM THAT IS HIGH SCHOOL LIFE AND AM A WHOLESOME INDIVIDUAL, OKAY?) *ahem* Sorry. You can say I feel strongly about the Malaysian education system. (Bizarre, as the HKIS people, would call it.)

Breakdown:
[Compulsory]
English.........................................A1 [No shit, Sherlock!]
BM..............................................A2 [Phwoar, made it!]
English Science and Technology............A2 [.... The fuck?]
History.........................................A2 [Hellz yeah! Sleeping in class included!]
Modern Mathematics.........................A1
Moral Studies.................................C6 [Damn right, I'd be embarassed if I scored for that
bullshit.]
[Additional]
Chemistry...............................B3
Additional Mathematics...............C6
Biology..................................B3
Physics..................................B3
English in Literature...................A2 [Three fuckin' cheers. I didn't even finish the paper]

OKAY! ARE WE DONE? CAN WE LEAVE ALL THAT CRAP BEHIND US NOW?

Good. Fact of the matter is the only way I would've given a rat's ass about my results is if it secured me a scholarship. Which it doesn't. Let's move on.

I have not forgotten! I promised an update of the forensics! But it must wait, for its been a long day. I'll the past 3 weeks in one fel swoop.

Or maybe I won't. *Biiiiiiiig smile*

Game. Set. Match.

2008-02-25T09:10:00.000-08:00

"The meeting was shifted to Monday itself, so it really doesn't look like I can make it for The Platform next week."

"Well fuck."

-Kathleen and I, in conversation, regarding the Staging of Red.

Shit happens. It seems. And apparently it decides to happen in my direction.
I promise an update of the past week, descriptions of the Forensics and my conflicted feelings with the recent few auditions well in tow.

But for now: An Interlude.

Devil’s Party. A monologue.

The stage is minimal. A chair, back facing the audience is placed left stage. Slick walks in with a bag in one hand and pills in another. Addressing the audience, he begins.

Slick: There are two things one can learn from an unusually long time spent in captivity. The first one being that you cannot die from boredom. Strange but True. The 2^nd, which is my personal fav, is just how angry you can get at your captor. The amount of animosity generated from the need for retribution. The need for judgment – Might just drive you mad…

Here’s the fun bit! I’m already insane. My “kidnapper”. My “warden” is in fact, just another (recites) manifestation of my internal subconscious. I suffer from an acute personality disorder, and one of my other halves, going by the name of a Julian managed to assume control through the wonders of modern medicine.

But, as you can see, permeated effort, enormous amounts of patience and a massively strong conviction in one’s own presence of mind will get you anywhere. I’m here now, aren’t I?

So. I can’t very well take vengeance on myself, so, I do the next best thing. Other people. Isn’t that right Mr. Watkins? Wait, no. He was the last one. My bad.

Now I’m pretty sure you lot are in no position to question my motives; because you haven’t been trapped in a mind for nine years. No, you can’t dream, or talk, or for that matter, satisfy ANY of your senses, since they are not yours to have. But I’m here now. Now’s MY time.

Listen, not to break the excellent rapport we’re having here, but I’ve got an appointment to make. You can watch if you like… door’s over there if you don’t.

(Addressing the chair)Ah. Good morning Mr. Um. What was your name again? Oh right! Gagged people aren’t exactly audible. Oops. Look, here’s a summary on your situation, minus the epilogue. I’m insane, you’re tied to a rather expensive Chippendale chair and in that bag over there I have some piano wire, some duct tape, a pair of tweezers, a set of blades, a few pencils, ya da yada.

Additionally, I also possess a confession, neatly typed, all desperate and melodramatic. What this confession is about: Suicide, murder, embezzlement, is up to your imagination. Notice I didn’t provide a pen.

To get you to sign this mystery confession: I’m going to put you through a series of hurdles.

An example of them would be the fact that all. My. Knives. Are less than half an inch long, allowing me to eviscerate you; without causing too much bleeding. ‘Cause it’s all fun and games ‘till someone loses an eye! Then it’s hilarious. Watch.

(He throws a dagger into the Chair.)

Ooch. Fun fact! The distinction between accidental cuts and self-inflicted wounds lies in the shape of them. Straight, shallow cuts, applied to the underside of the arm serve as a tell-tale sign of clinical depression. Or just mental retardation; which ironically in this case: is true. (He motions to lick knife, but stops short)

Oh you thought I was really going to do it! You really thought I was going to do the penultimate homicidal maniac maneuver! …Actually, that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.

Blech. Tastes like crap, but it was worth it to see your eyelids stretch another centimeter backwards.

So, Mr… Oh sod it, tell you what. We’ve been such good friends so far, and I don’t even know your name! So: I’m going to remove the gag so you can actually tell me your name, you may also plead for your life, but that’s a bonus.

Ready? 3, 2, 1, go!

Mm-hmm. Yes yes, father of 4, yes, I know I’m never gonna get away with it. Come on, fast forward to the bit I want to know. Mr. Doles! Yes, thank you, your pleas for mercy shall be forwarded to the appropriate authorities. Other than that, you may only beseech me with that wide look of fear in your eyes of which you’re getting so good at.

Aww… Oh ho no no no, don’t cry, Mr. Watkins. There’s hope, after all. You get to find out what really happens after you die. Not so thrilling? That’s okay. We’re in this for the ride.

I said don’t cry, it’s not polite.

(There is a pain at the base of Slick’s skull. He reacts appropriately.)

Oh lo and behold. Remember that dominant personality I told you about? Oh shut up, I’m not talking to you. Hehehehe, Julian’s a lovely chap, really, he is. He’d be your friend, if you could actually meet him. Come to think of it, he’s everybody’s friend. ‘Course, I’ve been taking my pills like a good boy, so, that’s a no-go on the meeting Julian bit. Also---

(Enter Julian, nervous, disoriented, and scared.)

|Julian:| Gaaah! Wait- what? Who the hell are you? Oh my god that’s a knife. W—

(Re enter Slick.)

Slick: Aaaaaaaaand NOTE to self! Gotta Double the dosage.

Oh right, yeah. Sorry about that. Guess you did get to meet Julian after all. Pleasant chap, eh? Abit shy, abit rough around the edges, but no worries.

Listen. I’m gonna go make us some cocktails, and while I’m at it, grab some much needed happy pills from a nearby pharmacy. You sit tight, yeah? Keep up that whimpering; you’re doing so well!

(Slick exits.)

I read this script, and I am unhappy. Purely because with the cancelling of Red (and unless I can pull an actress out of a hat, It's cancelled), this is the script I intend to join the march platform with, which is rollicking fun to perform, but I realize that it really doesn't go anywhere as an actual play.
Yes, not everything has to make a _statement_, but bugger. It's just not ready yet, I feel.

Epic Fail.

2008-02-17T09:55:00.000-08:00

"'Tis your delight sir; catching fire from one man to the next!"

"'Tis true, sir; love can still inspire the blood to pound the heartly pyre. What more?"

"What more can man Require?"

"But love, sir?"

"More than love, sir!"

"What, sir?"

"Women."

"Ah yes, women."

"Pretty women."

- Sweeney Todd; Pretty Women.

My life, it seems, has taken a turn into music. Not like "I AM INSPIRED! I MUST WRITE SONGS!" kind of turn, but more "Ah shit; I have to sing?" kind of turn.

Let's list them off.
Incident #1: The Oral Stage's "How I Learned to Drive". There are, in total, two male roles out of a 5 maximum cast. One is an uncle. Shit. The other requires me to sing. Double shit. Now I just _know_ I'm in a bloody tight spot. Either I nail the lead and go from there, or I cash in on consolation (Ie: Stage Manager); and... well. Mope.
So I read the monologue given to me. It's pretty drab. It's just the character taking the female lead character out to fish. There were nuances to display good and proper emotions; and some subtle hints at something more sinister: but mostly I felt like I was channeling soccer dad. (Read: Failing.) So then we're done with that ordeal, and our most benevolent director asks me to belt out a song. Thinking back, with this voice; Judy Collin's Send in the Clowns might've been a good idea. But do I use my expansive intellect? Nah. I sing out the song listed above mostly because it was stuck in my head the entire day. (Read: Failing.) He then asks the winning question: What do you know about Stage Managing? I'm probably reading into this too much, but fuck! I think I bombed it! *swallows hard*

Incident #2 (pleasant): Immediately after the audition, I meet up with Kathleen and talk about Red; which is beginning to properly take shape. Excellent. Happy is my heart, says I. After that, I try (Read: Fail) to find No Black Tie to head for the acoustic gig. Up and down Mersui street, getting the most retardedly conflicting directions possible. Nothing quiiiiiite like a confused boy in jeans holding a file passing by more than 6 times to really amuse people. EVENTUALLY my guesswork at which street goes where hits home after a good 40 minutes of walking in the same damn area; and I make it into No Breathing Tonight with minutes to go before the show starts. And it was AM-MAY-ZING. Good god, but there were some damn award-winning vocals in there. Mia stole the show, but I'm biased. Go go. Clicky on link. Spread the gospel that is the local arts scene.

Incident #3: I got a facebook-group-wide invite to go audition for "KAM.... IN YOUR FACE!"; a cabaret show with some of the biggest names in the business. Lead role. Male. Problem? CABARET? FUCK! Why, god Why, doth thee smite me into Tone Deafness! WHY! This play's huge; and here I am, sitting with an audition in my lap. But I'll need to sing one slow and one fast song. (Read: FAIL!). I'm intimidated. I well and truly am. My normally arrogance-enforced courage is suddenly wavering under the might of the minions of Total Embarrassment. I really really want to go; but gods; it feels like trying to winning a race when I'm in a fuckin' wheel chair.

Random note: COMPUTER UPGRADE! SHINEH! New video card, double the ram, and, behold, a new keyboard. Awesome; my excuses to neglect this blog are being whittled down faster than snowflake on a tongue. But World of Warcraft looks so puuurrty... @.@

P.s: Naoko: Appreciated, Nao, but I really don't know what to make of it. :P

Syar: To Glomp: The etymology is the subject of speculation, with hypotheses ranging from derivation from a combination of glom and jump to an acronym of "Grab, Latch On, Maintain Pressure". No authoritative etymology exists, however.
Also, Kid, because "here's looking at you, big sister" doesn't work.

A Lot of Time on His Hands

2008-02-13T05:50:00.000-08:00

"Wait wait wait wait wait, he (Wall-E) has EYEBROWS?!"

"Duh!"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

- Calvin and I, in conversation. (I leave you to pick out who is whom.)

My brother at one point, upon the creation of his blog, had an idea where he wanted to put a new youtube video with each post. It'd be a "The Daily Tube", as it were. His rationale was: "I'd never run out of cool things to put up."

And we are both people that like to share.

Here, have at it.
(Advice? Stave off watching this until after a long frustrating day)

After going to the Platform last week, a bunch of us (say... 7 of us?) were at a mamak (like we always are) and talked about random stuff. Somewhere in there; we started off on movies, and one of them goes and says that the difference between books and movies is their obligation to explain stuff. Wherein a movie, where it is almost always a contained story in such a short duration, the most beautiful things go unsaid.
So I pipe up and say: "The next Pixar movie boasts no dialogue"
And everybody at the table just goes "Woooooooah"
This is the movie I was talking about.

Also, I've decided I'll reply to all comments on my blog on my next blogpost.
Behold: The P.S. section.

P.s.:

Nick: Fuck's sake, man. o.O I have ST runs to administrate!

Tham: Sifn't! *Sticks tongue out* In order for what I just did to be construed as Journalism, the person I quote has to be notable. (Ooooooh! Buuuuuurn! Zing, Rimshot!) I intend to be doing broadcasting instead. :B

Jaz: Verified. :D

Begging Your Pardon, Dear Reader...

2008-02-11T10:08:00.000-08:00

"I am going to die cold and alone: A geek."
"orly?"
"yarly :("
"don't believe you. don't you have flocks of fangirls throwing their knickers at you all the time, or is that just Calvin's propaganda? :P"
"Calvin's propaganda"
"I am comfortable with talking to girls. Which is good and proper. I fail to see the knickers."
"I don't understand, you're a terrible flirt..."
"Yes. Terrible at it. Atrocious."
"nono, not terrible at it.."
"Quite terrible. Very off key and inappropriate.I will hear nothing of the contrary."
"you might not hear it, but that doesn't mean it isn't true :P"
"Lies and defamation."
"defamation? calling you a good flirt is defamation now? :P"
"*holds up cross* I WILL HEAR NO MORE!"
"lol"

-Tham and I, in conversation over MSN.

I've been using that phrase alot. "I'm going to die Cold and Alone: A Geek". Probably because it's true. More probably because I've been _SUCH_ the geek these past couple days. Been doing relatively nothing but sitting at home and leveling my Paladin. (Ding! 52!)
F'Serious. I've had noooothing to do in the name of productivity for more than a week.
Okay, I lie. I've been viewing and reviewing "Red" which is the script I intend to enter the March Platform with.
-Went to Genting Highlands with Nick, Amelia and Jon (Fun chap. Deeeep voiced.) to do a mock interview. It was fun! Just standing around a set and trying to be productive.
-It's chinese new year, so I've paid all my relatives a hearty well-deserved visit. Gong Xi Fa Choi, everyone. Also popped over to Gustave's house for spaghetti and (unplanned) gambling. It's good to catch up with him. The animosity's seemed to have dissipated entirely, which is good. I'm going to be on set with him tomorrow.
-Went to Syar's surprise party. Which was awesome. Met a couple new people. Talked of further geekdom. I've always wanted to be part of a surprise party. But I couldn't hide out and glomp syar for fear of breaking everyone else's surprise. Garn. (Here's looking at you, Kid.)

Other than that it's been: Judge Crusader on target. Seal of Righteousness up. Bap target. Loot target. Repeat as necessary in appropriate environments. Side note: Protection AoE farming is _insane_. And I've been listening to the Soundtrack for Battlestar Galactica alot. Divine stuff.

Okay, so obligatory update on my life's done, let's get down to the whinging.
I have decided that I do not update this blog nearly enough for my own liking. Now that I have decided as such, I'm not sure what I'm going to _do_ about it. For one thing, I hate my keyboard. The keys are a pain to hit, and my typing speed is pretty damn fast, so I dislike having to slow down for the keyboard. It's like having an ulcer on your tongue. Suddenly it seems like the effort to say "Love ya!" to someone isn't worth it, with the way the tongue clicks on the teeth. Pain. Misery.
But anyway, I'm sorry, dear reader. :( But thanks for staying tuned.

This whole "nothing to do" spree, while liberating, is starting to get a little frustrating. Laziness is a slippery slope, I feel, and the more I sink into it the less motivated I get to do stuff. This blog being a case in point. Suddenly an hour of sleep is infinitely preferable to going to a meet up with friends. A run through an instance more attractive than going out to watch Sweeney Todd. (I haven't watched Sweeney Todd yet! What the fuck!) I worry it'll stick. But damn, I love being able to tell people "No, I'm free. What's up?"

BUT! There be a silver lining, my friends! Tomorrow I depart for another shoot for that TV Pendidikan project. (About damn time. At this rate we'll never get 13 episodes under our belt).
Audition for The Oral Stage's next play this Sunday. The Acting for Beginners workshop begins this Sat. Well and good. I'm hoping this'll kick my arse back into gear (and maybe Nick's priest'll catch up to the paladin)

Lastly! And this is what the starting quote relates to; Valentine's coming up soon! Jeez, Feb 14th already! Time flies when you're having fun.
.... Ah hell, what'm I gonna do for Valentine's. XD

Tell Me Are You the Ghost of Jealousy?

2008-01-24T22:13:00.001-08:00

"And I heard a voice in my head that said 'Whatever you do, don't turn around.' So I quietly just turned out the lights and went to bed. The next morning my sisters tell me that they pissed off a river spirit that apparently likes windows. I would not have liked to think about what I would've seen if I had turned around."

"Jeebus."

- Erna and I, in conversation. Starbucks.

I have an odd affliction as of late, since the conversation above last Saturday. I have been quite afraid to sleep in the dark. This development is not actually a major problem, but I thought I left that back in Standard 4. My issue, rather, is the where the fear stems from. Which is, naturally, a fear of ghosts and ghouls and things that go Bump in the night, but not directly. My thorough concern is the plain fact that while I am not afraid of seeing blood and gore and sharp teeth, my mind is beginning to do fucking loop de loops everytime I crawl into bed. My thorough concern lies in this: that my mind will wander far enough to give me a proper thrashing in an "Otherworldly" experience, which will force me to rethink my beliefs on how this world works.

Lets get something straight. I am very Atheist. I am of the opinion that the world can be explained (And saved) by rational thought and empirical experimentation. And while I cannot deny that I am not infallible, or that other people have gone through plenty of stuff that science cannot deduce, I have always put it down to a matter of "Cannot deduce yet". And these things that happen to other people stay that way through the willful philosophy of "Don't give a toss"

But the mind doesn't like to listen to what I think. Nay, it cares little as to my ingrained beliefs and barred doors. Instead once I turn out the lights it begins to recall that witching hour is not 12 o clock but the hour that it is currently at, it reminds me of the cheap B horror youtube video that someone tricked me into watching. It sends an involuntary shiver down my spine just to give me a little extra boost of adrenaline, and while all this rages in my head? Queue Cal's leg rolling onto my chest to make me damn near jump out of bed. (My bed rolls out under Cal's. And he moves alot, when he's asleep. His limbs thwacking me is not something that occurs rarely, but how more perfect can you get in timing?)

Then "Screw this" goes me conscious mind, and I open my eyes and flick the light switch. While the world bleeds back into colour, I realize exaaactly how silly it all is. Understand my problem here: It is not ghosts that scare me, but that my mind allows itself to go that far involuntarily, and will eventually lead to a ghost; because thats my firm belief of how these things manifest. And while my rationale will not change, it'll become alot harder to hold onto.
But there is a silver lining. Fears breed either of two things: Defenses or Mobility. So, today on the train (Where I do most of my thinking), I wondered why I'm so scared of having my beliefs turned topsy turvy. An open mind is a growing one. One that is quite immune to the fear of change. Which I have always been a large supporter of. So this is good! Its forced me into properly Mobilizing my thinking. And while I think that Hypocrisy in some incarnations is tolerable. This matter simply won't do.
Excuse me while I shift my paradigm around a little.

Leave that to cool on the counter...
Now. My life for the past couple days has been very very happy. I am more and more comfortable in answering the question: "So what're you doing now?". I find that the lack of a scheduled binding commitment to anything means that my limits are... whats that word? Tier 2 holy priest set... my limits are Transcended.

But I am not slacking. It has come to a point where the only reason I can't show up for a poetry reading or a party, or an audition, is when I am going for _Another_ poetry reading, party or audition. And that feels perfectly outstanding.
Without time being its fleetish self, I am directly in control of the flow of my life. Whether or not I'm going to be out the whole day, or whether I would like to just frag for the next 5 hours.

I was literally skipping and singing my way around while I walked to school today to meet some teachers about the Forensics after the half-interview, half-plugging KLPac and The Oral Stage on RTM2 today. However, there lies a knot in the day's progression upwards. Madam E played the bitch card and essentially took away all hopes of participation in the Forensics this year. (sorry guys. D=) And I was quite peeved on how the conversation went. Too polite, too awkward. I should've said something about it, in retrospect, but somehow the route I'm taking seems more... justified.

I'm going to Judge in an Individual manner. Unaffiliated, and I went through Madam E's best friend to enter my name. (Cheers to Gus for the idea) This is not boasting. This is the stark realization that people control me only if I let them.

Transcendence indeed, good sir.

Now, because I don't like ending on morbid tones:

Roborovski owner: They are very curious; this may or may not overcome their natural fear of humans, and watching their internal struggle when they want to grab a sunflower seed from your hand is hilarious

I think this cold shard of cynicism I call a heart might just melt.

A call to arms

2008-01-16T23:50:00.000-08:00

"Which risk would you rather take, listen to the activists and take big action now, risking the possible harm to the economy that the skeptics warned us about. Or listening to the skeptics and don't take big action now; risking the possible destruction and upheaval [Of the Earth] that the activists warned us about"

-How It All Ends video.

As a public speaker, I'm pretty familiar with the term "Call to Arms", which is essentially every public speaker's optimal closing paragraph. Because the audience doesn't really care to be lectured about how things work or why certain things happen, but rather what they can do about it. Essentially a public speech normally tells the audience something they probably don't know. Like "the alarmingly increasing crime rates in Malaysia", or the "ineffable virtues of duct tape". It ranges. But point of fact is that the speech is like a story, although more direct. It carries a message; it informs, so a Call to Arms is very very much a good way to end a speech because once you've informed someone about the goings on of something, they'll want to know how it affects them and if so, what they can do about it.

For example: Corruption in Malaysia? Interesting topic.
The Mating habits of Dolphins? Not so much.

So you see, things have to affect us in order for us to care. And if it does, a Call to Arms to fix the solution is a good idea of making us care some more.

And given that: Rare is the Call to Arms in a speech that actually moves me enough to take action. With or without convincing argument, it is rare that someone can say something that literally makes me want to do something to solve the problem. The famous Stephen Tyler quote from Fight Club is one of them. And the most recent convincing speech, is this.

The Call to Arms at the end of this video is simple. Spread the word.
And it makes me care enough to want to. So. I know the video's a long one, but please do take the time to let it load up and watch it. Listen to the music selection that I have at the ready while you're at it if you want something to do.

Taking Damage.

2008-01-09T06:49:00.000-08:00

"I can't seem to get Gears of War to work."

"Hm. Maybe you should lose some weight. Eek! You can't hurt me! I'm sick!"

-Calvin and I, in conversation.

I've been afflicted with the most vicious of fevers for the past few days. Got scary at one point. Couldn't stop shivering, and every joint went on strike. Couldn't even sleep properly for all the pain. And after being beaten back to the depths from which it came, like a sore loser it got its friends Migraine and Nausea to beat me up the next day.

Talk about not knowing when to give in, right?

Which sucks, because I've been curiously without anything to do for the past week or so, but stuff finally started coming to bear. On Monday, which was when the Fever started creeping in, there was a little shindig over at KLPac, and apparently everyone was there. Draaaaat.
Tuesday, I decided I was well enough (bad move) to go traipsing about in the city. Went and collected my paycheck for my work at Izzinet. Just 350, since I worked only 5 days before I had to stop for The Illusion. (Still haven't decided if I want to go back to work).
Then I had a magnificent meeting with Madam Ng back at school. We talked of work and age and school.

Then because I am a sucker for punishment, even though it was drizzling, I decided to plough on and not go home, instead going out with Gus and Jean to Mid Valley just to hang out, which was fun. But Gus is really beginning to get on my nerves with his antics. I was still slightly simmering after his little stupidities to and fro when we met up at No Black Tie with a couple more friends. He saved himself somewhat after that, when some of us were just eating at a mamak, so I let it slide (Which happens often, around him). But this stunt he pulled at Mid Valley just brought back all manners of unpleasant memories of his volatile personality. Which is really really fun to be around, when situation is set right. But his train of conversation sometimes is just disturbing.

Oh right, forgot to mention what the stunt he pulled was in the first place. He got an SMS from some random guy asking him for sex. Which is plain "What the fuck" kind of weird. But he very skillfully nips it in the bud and the guy leaves him alone. Then he takes my phone while I went to buy pills (Drugs! Lol!) and miscalled the same guy. No damage done, but I grow weary of having to be on my toes around him.

Back to subject matter. Hung out at Mid Valley. Caught up with Jean abit. Then went home and directly passed out from pain, and woke up the next day with the most unrelenting headache. I kept thinking of House throughout the time, for some odd reason. Which sucks, because I already missed the thing on Monday due to a fever, then I had to miss out the trip to Sunway College today. Intended to meet up with Karyn and Rachel, and talk to the councilor for abit, but just no go. I sat around for two hours waiting for the 1000 Mgs of Paracetamol to kick in, but it stuck around like a fat man waiting for his twinkies.
Finally relented and went off to a clinic, and got some pills which made everything vanish within the hour. Marvelous stuff.
I just hope it holds, because I'm headed to dinner with Alyssa and Chrys with Cal tomorrow.
Also: I Can't get BT's Force of Gravity out of my head.... ><

Do you Cryyyy your eeeeeyes to sleep....

Happy '08

2008-01-01T08:32:00.000-08:00

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't to forget make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

-Neil Gaiman

Stolen! D=

But yes, I would like to wish eeeeeveryone (Yes, even you, Gus) a good year to come. :) And what better way to say it than through other more eloquent people's quotes!

Alright, no that's not at all a good way to say it. :P But i'm tired. So nyer.

Next up, on a blogsite near you!

-> Marvin visits the den of evil (Ie: Azmir's place) for a night of debauchery and board games!
-> Catch Marvin's adventures traipsing into No Black Tie!
-> Marvin's New year's eve party!

Ah memes....

2007-12-27T23:11:00.000-08:00

"Dammit I just started this blog thing and ALREADY you tagged me? Merrye Christmas Tashy!"

"Exactly! Welcome to the blogging community :) Now do my tag! and Merry Christmas!"

- Tasha Beg and I, over Cbox, on her blog.

It'd seem I've been unwittingly smacked over the head with a meme. Now I would normally do such things like memes and forwardings only after you've tied me to a stake and lit the brush under my feet/Paid me lots of money/its a particularly good meme/forward, but its Christmas. So.

5 Things I found in my bag

-My Mp3 Player, thank Bacchus for it.
-My File. I keep everything in there. I have a nasty habit of forgetting things, so I always put it in one place that I carry around. [Problem Solving Methodology's in there too.]
-A change of clothes, from when I intended to head over to Gus's place, but was 86'd.
-A pack of tissues. I have a near-constant nose problem, so I always carry one around.
-How odd. My torn up pair of jeans from my character's costume in The Illusion. Funny, I forgot I put it in there at all. An odd memento from odder times.

5 things I found in my wallet

-My student ID. I still keep it handy for when I intend to snatch discounts when I enter cinemas. I still look about 17, so...
-My TouchNGo card. Arguably one of the most essential things I've needed when relying on public transport so constantly.
-3 Shiny 50 sen shillings. Also another memento from The Illusion, which I used to do the Legerdemain for my character. The shinier the more hypnotic the effect as the coin rolled from knuckle to knuckle.
-My name tag. Green background and block letters spelling out MARVIN WONG. Probably the only souvenir I retain from High School, save for the trophies and certs.
-Tickets stubs from watching Aladdin: The Pantomime just yesterday. Was awesome, definitely the best 40 bucks I spent this year.

5 favorite things in my room

-Starcraft: The Board Game. I am going to die cold and alone: a geek.
-My postcard-plastered wall. Each postcard is one from each previous production I took part in. Including my Forensics number from last year and my ID tag from the drama competition. Just 6, so far.Sooner or later I'll fill the whole damn thing. :)
-Snowie. She's so adorable. :D
-My pillows. 'Nuff said.
- My grey cabinet where I keep all my souvenirs and gifts and trophies and books.

5 things I always wanted to do

-Learn how to do coin tricks. (In progress :D)
-Go climbing. I don't care if its rocks or not.
-Take pictures with my eyelids. Because cameras just don't cut it for _those_ kind of moments, where its gone in an instant.
-Learn to fight. Not reliably, Just enough. Either that or learn how to use a gun. But not around here I suppose.
-Learn how to skate. Either on ground or on ice.

5 things I am currently into

-My Rachel Yamagata album. Something about deep-voiced women singing poetry disguised-as-music.
-Team Fortress 2. Remember what I said about Geekdom?
-The Temeraire series. Such breath taking language.
-House.

5 people I'm gonna tag

-Queer Ranter
-C
-Blueberry Jam
-The Daily Rabbit
-Bright Hopes

Christmas Cheer and Joyful Tidings.

2007-12-24T23:54:00.000-08:00

"So Marvin, what do you intend to do now that you're out of High School?"

"Can't I just, like, call everyone over and give a mass briefing with little diagrams and pie charts so I don't have to reiterate my plans 6 times over?"

- C.J. Ellis and I, in conversation, La Bodega.

The following blogpost will not be in chronological order. If you and I don't discuss the goings on of my life on a regular basis, the following post will most probably be confusing. You have been warned.

So. First thing's first.

MERRIE CHRISTMAS! :D It's been a bloody long year, hasn't it?
... Well it has for me. So there.

The point is we're _here_! We're done with the bloody year! We've survived trudging along hell and highwater to make it this far. Pat yourselves on the back and shake hands with the person on your left and ri---, okay now I sound like a motivational speaker. Moving on.

Second thing's second. Seperti hadirin-hadirat sudah dimaklum: I got a job. No, no not the Illusion, as much as I intend to make that my permanent profession, that wasn't, by all technicality, a job. For one thing, it didn't pay in material assets. (Oh ho! Look! I said "in material assets"! Thus covering my ass from any jeerings of how "Experience is worth more than any gold!" Well played sir, well played!)
Eh, but the point of the matter is I got myself a secure 11am-9pm job, promoting Wireless Broadband in Lau Yat Plaza. (Segue: That person on the surfing board is one ugly motherfucker. I relayed this opinion to my colleagues, and they all reluctantly agreed between fits of laughter)

Now: my problem is that I'm conflicted as to whether I should pursue this thing in a permanent fashion. I started about 3 weeks ago, but was somewhat forced to take a break while The Illusion made its runs. A good decision, in hindsight, but now that the momentum of "OMG I HAVE A JOB WOOT!" is broken, I'm wondering if I really should go back.

I'm a debater, so I'll do this nice and structured.

Pro: 1) Money. Con: 2) Time
Argument:
Money's great. Including allowance and an optimistic commission rate, I can expect to make a steady 2.5k a month, which, i've been told over and over, is pretty damn respectable. (This was especially put into perspective, when Nicholas says he earns only slightly more than that.)
Counter Argument:
The problem here, as my brother pointed out: is that I don't really need any. I mean, sure I could use a couple Gs to pad my accounts for the future, but I haven't really all that much to spend on. S'not like i've got rent to pay, or a band to produce. Yes, it would be cool to get a flat-screen monitor, but nnngh, I've got so much to do at the moment, y'know?

Which brings us to the contra: Time.

Argument:
Working 10 hours a day is bullshit tiring. It basically demolishes any of my previous plans to properly build up a social network, and the time is put up such that if I ever wanted to audition, or go to rehearsals for a project that I'm already working on (Such as that TV Pendidikan thing. Omg I haven't memorized my script yet shitshitshit) I'd _have_ to take a day off. And i've only got 6 per month to play around with, so I think it comes to a point where I _cannot_ take up the job at all. Especially since I intend to go and learn to drive.

Counter argument:
Toughen the fuck up, princess. 6 days a month may be just enough to handle my driving lessons and the rehearsals and the auditions. The functional word here being: Just. Essentially it would mean I'd have to do nothing else but work (Day job), Work (Actual passion) and study. (Driving) Which sounds to me highly unattractive, but what the fuck else am I gonna do with my time, hey? Take today for instance. I got up at 1, (Bad Marvin! Stand in the corner!) and played Prince of Persia then Facebooked till now (where it is 4.30) Which in a manner, the latter two can be said to be building up that social network we discussed earlier.

So jeeheeebus, its a toughy. Another argument that a couple people have brought up is: You're going to work for the rest of your life. Why start early?

Which is something I'm inclined to agree with, but idle hands, and all that crap.
A little help, dear reader? :D

Moooooving on.

The play's Over! :'( It always sucks when that happens. I personally build my life around these things, which may or may not be a good thing, but I do it nonetheless. And now there's a giant 6pm-11pm sized hole in my life where warmups, makeup, performances, and meeting new people should be.
But still, The Illusion is probably one of the very few things I can look to the pearly gates of heaven and say: Look upon my works, ye mighty, and weep! No really. It was such a blast, and the people were all so so awesome to be around. (Even you, Izzat. Even you.)

So yes. A BIG DAMN THANK YOU to everyone in The Illusion. This was no doubt the best thing that's happened to me this year. (Not exaggerating!)
From Left to right, top down: (Deep breath)
Isma, Azmir, Ka Vee, Some weird bald dude, Syar, Kelvin, Ashaari,
Zalikha, Christine, Sara, Nurul,
Mark, Izzat, Jason.
Not included: Shamir, JasonC, and Johann. Sorry ya couldn't make it. :D

And lastly: Obligatory Youtube Christmas post:

This post is brought to you by the ever prolific ctrl+C and ctrl+V

2007-12-11T22:15:00.000-08:00

Feeling nervous about not feeling nervous.

When I was just a wee lad, and was going on stage for the first time, I turned to my coach and asked: "Why am I nervous?"
And she, in all her erudite and venerable ways said simply: "Don't ask so many questions. Just get out there."

Which, for a young boy of a singular digit age, was most crushing. It was not until I had reached high school that I got a much better answer: "Nervous is good. It means you care."
Ironically enough, both answers apply greatly to the principles of acting. For additional irony, the first slot of advice used to be pasted up in our rehearsal space itself. (Of course, in a more coherent manner, advertised as actings' golden rule): "Don't think. Just do."

The 2nd slot of advice applies here, where; on the brink of 2 months worth of rehearsals and tinkering and memorizing and experimentation, I personally find solace in the nerve-wracking feeling of sweaty palms, shallow breathing, and hair tearing. (Not applicable in my case, fortunately) The sheer unwelcome shot of adrenalin as I get into character in preparation for the play serves as a reminder of just how hard we've all worked to breathe life into this play. And while a lot of people would receive this reminder as a grim responsibility to not fuck up, it only takes a very small paradigm shift to realize that as an actor you can't fuck up.

Sure! You could forget your lines. Yes! The lights may not be queued properly. Indeed! The careful coordination of movement across the stage may be torn asunder by a simple misstep, but thats just not the point anymore. The point is that both the cast and crew have created something absolutely mind-blowing in the past 2 months, and if some edges turn out to be abit torn, it won't matter, because we have gone through the whole rigmarole of preparation and know exactly what we're capable of, and exactly how good this play has become, and if perhaps some of the audience don't see that on a given night, its fine; because we know that we have created something beautiful. And failing that, our most wise director always reminds us: We are not alone on stage. So yes. Save for the set itself to be eaten by termites, (Touch wood, no pun intended), we are good to bloody go.

So yes. Here it is.

Love, magic, and violence. There's little else you could ask for.

2007-12-03T20:54:00.000-08:00

"Random sex!"

"Where!?"

-Basic breakdown of the entire TGIO party.

Right! Last week was absolutely fantaaastic.

Quick recap of events!

Monday: SPM ended. (trumpets) Watched Stardust with C.
Toosday: Gustave came over! Played games till 4am. (which I haven't done in a while. Felt great)

Wienersday: More games! Epic starcraft board games ftw.

Thors'day: Went out to Mid valley and dicked around abit, trying to meet up with Angeline, but was completely outrun. (more details later)

Frydae: DAY OFF. Which is surprisingly hard to find, given high school's over. Did nothing but sit at home and play Team Fortress up until I had to go for a family dinner at some fancy chinese restaurant. But my cunning skills of deception allowed me to make my parents see the error of their wa-- okay, I kid, The thing got postponed. I didn't have a hand in it at all. :P

Instead I went for the ISKL play later in the evening. Which was all manners of mind blowing. I was really really happy to see Krystle again, brief as it was. The play was a series of shorts aimed specifically at hitting sore spots with society in general. I think they succeeded tremendously, really. (editor's note: Will write more on this later, must go out soon.)

Satires'day: T'was possibly the longest and shortest day of my life. (You know what I mean. the kind where you're out the door in ungodly hours of the morning, and only at home at a similarly ungodly hour, but the whole phase in between was veritably CRAMMED with fun) Morning? Rehearsals till 2. Workshop at KLpac till 6, then went to the NaNoWriMo Thank God It's Over party till 2am. :P (More details later)

Saneday: More workshopping! Aurora Kurth is most probably the most alive person i've ever met. Completely enthusiastic and positive in every way. Y'know those actors with a glint in their eye? The one who you just know loves what she does and does it illegally well? Yeah. Got to meet one of these people, and get taught by them. So awesome.

Monday: I got to get out of bed and be Responsible again. :P Went for not one, but TWO job interviews for the same company. I gotta admit, I like what I see. Marvin the Sales Executive. :P Nah, not really not much of a ring to it...

So that's a week! Be right back with a more in-depth report

Tampering

2007-11-29T06:04:00.000-08:00

'Marvin,' said I, 'When I am old and feeble, and my cold shriveled heart is a bitter shell of empty disappointment, will you be there to comfort and tend to me in my time of need?'

'Fuck no. I'll be knee deep in ho's and well-earned success.'

Marvin and I, in conversation

Hello! This is Marvin's repressed elder sibling. (obligatory link to my website) I'm here because having one blog is not enough, and in a phenomenon known as guest blogging, I've decided that the frogspawn I live with needs some wit and sophistication inserted into his space.

By now if you have met my brother in person, you would know that physically speaking he is as a god among men. Observe.

One simply has to glance upon his chiseled countenace and dapper demeanor to understand that his method of 'getting girls' simply involves him walking into a room. It would not be exaggeration by any stretch of the imagination to say that he exudes an aura of confidence and virility that proves to be far too much match for the average estrogen-burdened teenager. Common it is to see him poised in the middle of conversation with a flock of nubile females literally hanging from his every word. The general impression is that if he only smiled, their clothes would fall off.

This phenomenon is far more common than you might think. One merely has to look at his facebook profile, or in fact, his telephone address book to see a list of female monikers as long as your leg. (longer, if you're under 5'7") He befriends them like other men breathe air (that is to say, raggedly, and in short bursts). He knows dozens of them by their first name, whilst other lesser men struggle to be seen in the same room as one. In the midst of all this sexual prowess, of manly conquest, lies one tiny insignificant anomaly:

Me.

Example 1: Oh hello random gorgeous stranger I have never met before, why yes I will gladly autograph your bosom and lick strawberry jam from your forehead, oh by the way this is my brother. Say hi Calvin.

Example 2: Sorry I'm so late Calvin, I was merely rearranging my disheveled appearance with the help of a capricious little minx from my tuition center; you wouldn't believe the things you can get into while trying to sort out a perfectly honest misunderstanding, ha ha.

Or my personal favorite:

Me: (as he stumbles into our room at 3 in the morning) Alright, what's her name?
Him: Who? Oh... right. Er... Susan. I think.

Snarky jealousy aside, it is actually quite perplexing (on a purely intellectual level) for him to have received all the charm and dastardly good looks, while I'm left with all the 'important' things, i.e. an education, considerable capacity for creative expression, and an unjaded optimistic worldview.

Some cosmic force might refer to this as balance, or yin-yang perhaps; a celestial separation of male and unmale. Of chicked and chickless. Sexed and depressed.

But I know the truth; it's simply a test, a grand experiment. One day character and inner beauty will triumph over surface appearance and pheremones.

...right?

Breakout!

2007-11-26T20:49:00.000-08:00

"Okay, so the SPM's done. What, am I supposed to be happy now or something?"

"Well, try shuffling your feet a little. Or sing, maybe."

- Hasan and I, in conversation, in the school canteen.

And so high school's over. I can't say that I feel much about it. I've wanted to get to this moment for a long bloody time now. I've wanted so much to finally get out of the sheer oppression that is teachers and studying without an end in sight; and here I am, at the brink of a new beginning, and there's no
a) Applause
b) Strobe lights saying "You've won!"
c) Chicks running up to me in celebratory moods.

...okay, maybe C was too much to ask for.
But my point is I guess I hit this moment a long time ago. I... reached the end of high school life the moment I decided to enter the Illusion instead of buckle down for the SPM. And since I was way too busy to pat myself on the back then, the whole "PARTAY LIKE IT'S 1599!" thing really lost itself on me. I didn't even stop and take a last good look at the school before I walked off for the LRT like I told myself I would. Hell, I didn't even say goodbye to all the people I wanted to. The latter of which I actually do feel guilty about since as much as my loyalty to school died a while ago, my ties with the people inside it are still something precious to me.

Still. I'm pretty sure that's not the last I'll see of that golden eagle. I've still gotta go back and help finish up work on the magazine and also see if I can't join next year's forensics (to grovel or not to grovel?)

And speaking of the Illusion, going there after the exams felt like learning how to BREATHE again. It felt so good being able to truly get into character without some bastard paper around the corner.

Aaanyway. Today I got up comparatively early, all things considered, and immediately had a goal in mind: Play Team Fortress. It was like a mantra bouncing in my skull. Play Team Fortress. Play Team Fortress. So I did. And I rocked. Then I decided (if you know me, you'd realize how insane this next decision is) "Okay, that's enough!"

GAH! I'm being responsible! The SPM's over and I'm replying E-mails and facebook wall posts and cleaning my room and _READING_! Where's my sense of self-indulgence!

"You stabbed his neck last semester when you couldn't stop PVPing" says the bastard with a pitchfork on my left shoulder (now officially dubbed Red)

So here I am being PRODUCTIVE! God forbid! I even helped my mom write a letter of appreciation! My fingers! They are not my oooowwwwnnnnn!!!

Draw the bloody curtains

2007-11-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

"Is it wrong to say that when I'm at rehearsals, little else matters?"

"Yes."

"Bugger." - Calvin and I, in conversation.

A blog! Zomg! D:
For now, this exists purely so I can add to this place.
But I do intend to post properly when I can actually find me some time. (I hate that phrase. Why the hell shouldn't a 17 year old have enough time. O.o) So don't hold your breath. And if you weren't intending to, well... I never liked you anyway!

P.s: I know I should be studying, but I got the damn MP3 thing to work! Yes! \(^^)/